Are you tired of wearing decisions that don’t fit? It sounds reasonable and feasible, but something inside tells us that it’s not really the answer we need for the issue we’re facing. Just like clothing that doesn’t fit us properly, when we try on the decision, it feels, well . . . a little off to us.
Do you know that feeling?
The moment we put on clothes that are too big or too small, we instantly know there is a huge problem. By the way, I’m a big fan of getting rid of clothes that do not fit today, but I digress.
When we wear big clothes, they may be too loose and fall down. And they become a constant distraction because we constantly pull on them. If we wear clothes that are too small, they won’t allow freedom and expansion. Another distraction and quite frankly, too small clothes are downright uncomfortable. These clothes, in either situation, are not serving us. We are not at our best when we’re wearing them. And it’s not helpful to hang onto them hoping they will one day fit.
In the same way, the decisions and solutions from others may not fit us and serve us as we move toward having more balance in our professional and personal lives.
So recently I was asked to give advice. I was talking with a young lady, and she said, would you tell me what I should do? And I shared this with her: “If I give you advice, it may not fit you. It may be something that would work for me, but not necessarily for you. So, we need to dig a little deeper and determine what’s a good decision for you to move forward.” Consequently, we worked through her dilemma until she decided on a solution that she felt would work for her.
That said, when other people want to give you advice and make decisions for you, it would be wise to remember that their context may be quite different. Their priorities, circumstances, season of life and values may differ from ours, so a decision perfect for them may not afford us the same benefits. We have more information and details about us than they have. Therefore, we are the expert and advocate for the decisions we make.
Here are three steps to help you discern:
- Get clear on what you really want. And I know this seems daunting for some people, but it’s very necessary. Take the time to really think about and be able to verbalize what you want. This requires honesty. Clarity is the non-negotiable precursor to moving forward effectively. In many cases, we are willing to take on the advice of others because we haven’t dutifully considered what we would like most. Don’t rush this process. Talking it through with a supporting partner or friend can be a helpful intervention in our attempt to gain clarity. When we are clear, we are less likely to take on the opinions of others that do not fit.
- Ask this question, “Does what I want align with my core values?” What are you prioritizing now before you decide to move forward? If you make decisions that are contrary to what you truly value, then the balance that reflects your most important priorities will be fleeting. Said differently, only those decisions aligning with our core values will shift us into true balance. It is unsettling when our external behaviors do not match our internal beliefs and priorities.
- Weigh the varying options and choose the one that best promotes the desired outcome. There are many options, but among them may be the best option. The key is to choose one best suited for the desired result. Think of it as an experiment. If the choice turns out not to be a good one, there are other options available that will still enable you to move forward in the way you would like to. The ultimate selection is as individualized as we are individualized as people.
Stop wearing decisions that don’t fit. Get clear, ensure alignment, and then make the best possible decision as the expert in your own life. Don’t rush to make decisions about how to move forward but do make them. Action is a necessary step to achieving any desired outcome. However, before decisive action comes thought and clarity.
If you need more help ascertaining that clarity (first step), I have a resource to help you. Get my FREE download here: 10 Steps To Get Rid of Confusion and Get Clear. If you would like more individualized support, book a FREE Discovery Call at tabithaperson.com/discover.